Bill Handel

Bill Handel

Listen to Bill Handel Weekdays from 6 to 9AM on KFI AM 640! Full Bio

 

The Bathroom Incident - Chapter One

First of all, I included “Chapter One” in the title not because I plan to do more posts about things that happen in the KFI bathroom, but because I need to leave open the possibility that other weird things WILL happen. Honestly, I’d rather never see or hear anything in that bathroom again that makes me want to post about it.

I had to use the facilities for one of the normal reasons. When I went in, there was guy standing at the mirror, adjusting his tucked in shirt. He was well-dressed and obviously meticulous about every aspect of his attire. This photo is not the actual guy, it’s a royalty-free photo of a guy who reminds a bit of the real guy:

I can’t show you a photo of the real guy, because I’m not a creep who takes pictures of people in bathrooms. I can, however, show you the scene of the event:

Back to the tale. The guy was micro-adjusting his shirt the entire time I was in there, about two full minutes. When I came up the sinks to wash my hands, he kept fidgeting with his garment with laser focus. I left.

About 5 minutes later, a KFI highlighter marker leaked on my hand. My palm was stained an unsightly yellow. I returned to the bathroom to find……..THE GUY STILL FUTZING WITH HIS SHIRT!

There was obviously some golden ratio of tucked shirt perfection that was eluding this man.

I managed to remove the ink from my hand and left. He was still there. He’s gone now, but in a way, he will always be there, adjusting is shirt, haunting me.


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